Welcome to ‘Dear Laura’ - a monthly column where I fashion myself as an agony aunt and answer the questions that readers submit. If you’d like to send in a question for me to answer next month, you can submit it here.
I’m happy to answer Qs about anti-diet nutrition, developing a more peaceful relationship to food and weight-inclusive health, annoying diet trends and news stories, body image challenges, and, of course, challenges with feeding your kiddos. Please give as much detail as you’re comfortable with and let me know if you’d like me to include your name or keep it anon.
Please remember that these answers are for educational purposes only and are not a substitute for medical or nutritional advice; please speak to your GP or a qualified nutrition professional if you need further support.
If you need 1-1 support, I am currently taking on new clients. I can support with a range of nutrition-related issues through a weight-inclusive and mindbody-affirming lens. I especially enjoy working with parents around their children's eating difficulties and how that might intersect with the parent's own relationship with food and their body. If you'd like to find out how I might be able to help, contact hello@laurathomasphd.co.uk to arrange a complimentary 15 minute call.
Dear Laura,
My 5.5 year old has been refusing milk lately and I'm trying to figure out how concerned I should be about calcium. I really don't want to make a big deal out of it and get too controlling but it is triggering my old postpartum baby feeding anxieties. We've tried a couple alternatives that he isn't interested in and there are a few other calcium sources he will eat sporadically. I'm trying to gently offer/encourage those while still respecting his choice and autonomy. Any tips for navigating this???
Carynne
Thanks for this thoughtful question Carynne! It can be really stressful when kids start dropping previously accepted foods, especially when those are a reliable source of nutrition, like milk. Our instinct when kids drop foods is to try and find an alternative and start pushing that. We then get into a cycle of pressuring them to try this new food and even subtle pressure can cause resistance and make them more likely to reject the new food, as well as the old. As you’re suggesting, respecting choice and autonomy are critical (autonomy is one of the underlying drivers of internal motivation, which is what we think helps kids develop skills around eating that are driven by their own sense of curiosity and satisfaction, rather than external pressures which undermine autonomy and felt safety).
You’re right in thinking that milk is an important source of calcium in kids' diets. Let’s have a look at what calcium does in the body, how much kids need, and where they get it. Finally, I’ll address whether or not I’m concerned about this change in preferences.
What’s the deal with calcium?
Calcium is an essential macromineral meaning our bodies cannot produce it on its own, and therefore we need to get it from the food we eat, in reasonably large amounts compared to trace minerals like iron. Calcium has an important role in maintaining the health and structure of our teeth and bones - around 99% of the calcium in our body is found in teeth and bones. The remaining 1% is needed for muscle contractions, including heartbeat, making sure blood clots normally after a cut or scrape, enabling the release of neurotransmitters that allow nerve cells to communicate, and is involved in enzyme and hormone function.
How much calcium do kids need per day?
Because calcium is a macromineral, we need it in relatively high quantities. Children are growing and laying down new bone (and growing new teeth!) so have quite high needs compared to the size of their bodies.
